♡♡ AAlyn ♡♡

This one's for you, love

2012-02-15T23:17:00.008+08:00

Assalamualaikum. I would like to dedicate this post to you, from the bottom of my hart.

I thank you for asking me out that day. I thank God for letting him ask me out that Thursday. If it weren't for that day, for himself, I wouldn't be this happy now. I wouldn't be this cheery everyday, if not for him. He is the reason I smile each day. He is why I get butterflies around his presence. Just by the thought of him on my mind, I can feel the chills down my spine. He is the reason why I am smiling while typing this. I started afresh that Thursday, on December 1st. I felt like I had threw away all the bad memories. And since that day, I feel as if I had reborn and I didn't have any bad history. I felt so light and carefree from all the problems of the past relationship.

You are the reason why I forgot all my troubles. I am very grateful to you. Very grateful to God too. You are why I am stronger and even grateful now. His life stories and family problems taught me how to appreciate life and seize every opportunity, and never let anything slip through my fingers. I love him too much already. My bestfriend says that if you like someone for more than 3 months, it means he is not just a crush. And only today I notice that it has been the third month for already 15 days now. Time flies when you're having fun huh?

I miss you. Even though we meet each other everyday in school, it doesn't feel like it's enough. Because we don't talk like how we used to, in those days. I know you are the kind of guy who is not into relationships. But can you explain all those that happened two months ago? It felt like it happened ages ago, do you know that? We were so close back in those days. I wouldn't call us lovers, but I really felt like that because of your care and concern. It was unlike of you to do those things. Yes, I do know for the fact you are a gentleman and you are sociable, but what we had, felt so different. I felt like we knew each other for a thousand years.

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri. More of like our song. Do you remember watching Breaking Dawn part 1 together? Your skateboard on the floor and we put our feet on it and started reciprocating it? And when during the make out scene we talked to each other and laughed away instead of watching it? Good old sweet times. Remember how you put on the cap for me that evening? I ate Frolick for the first time and I asked you to order for me and you did? We shared it too. Remember how I attempted to story-tell you one of the movies I watched, and you didn't understand a thing but you still smiled? When I didn't look at you in the eye and you demanded me to do so? It was aadorable because, we argued then. My perspective of argue is playfully make fun of each other. We shared double chocolate frappè, and you mixed the whipped cream together and I scolded you? Wow I must be bragging too much. I wonder if you remember all these, I remember every single small detail. I just love that day. Roof top garden will always be the place I turn to when I really miss you.

I still remember how you expected a heartshape from me in the past. You called us partners and you said we would study together for O levels. Why aren't you asking me? Are you waiting for me to ask? Or is it because of my busy schedule? God, please tell me the answer. I miss having inside jokes with you. The last heartshape given was on January the third. See how much small details I remember?

You really mean so much to me. I wouldn't have seen this coming. I never liked you the first time I met you. And now, it's a whole different story.

In 18 minutes, it will mark your 15years and 4 months birthday. Happy birthday. I hope today will be a great day for you. :)

There will be no dance practices on Friday. Should I ask him to study with me? God, bring me the answer.

I do not regret liking you, love.

I'm glad I found you.

We got so close in a day.

I wish somebody knew this feeling of mine.

Gnsd. 영원히 사랑할게, xx

This silence is killing me

2012-02-11T00:08:00.005+08:00

Jangan kau rasakan, ku tak sayangimu. Aku yang sembunyi, aku yang merayu.

Day 73.

Later today evening will be when Seri's advanced birthday party takes place. I took the risk and texted him to ask if he was tagging along. The usual Rugby training he has on Saturdays may make him not available. I pity him reason being the trainings he has to go for. Please don't outdo yourself love. I know he can't read or maybe won't even read this, but I hope and pray Allah give him signs that he needs a break. :* Anyways, I hope he comes.

I am trying my best to avoid you. Sorry, I am just trying not to try so hard. And these days, my heart aches whenever you talk to her. It seems like you have inside jokes with her too. Sorry, I know I am in no place to be jealous. But I cannot help it. That feeling when you are scared of losing someone so dear, but they are not even yours... Sorry I assumed.

Me avoiding you, hurts me a lot. Because all of a sudden, you talk to me again. I have no right to blame you for treating me this way. Because you don't even recognise my feelings for you. I wouldn't let that happen because that will destroy our friendship. And now, typing this, I am reminded of what happened in December. Beautiful December. And last week. When you put your head on shoulder. It felt so right, so peaceful. And so calming. Will you love me like how I love you? ❤

School has been great lately. 2012 really consumes my time productively. I am never unoccupied this year, which is good so I won't be wasting any time. It is only February and I can't wait to get O levels over and done with. Speaking of February, 23 more days to DanceWorks! I feel so pressurised. But I can't be neglecting my studies and furthermore CA is just around the corner. Ya Allah, help me go through this. Amin.

You, me, CPR? Hahahahaha I still cannot forget that day when you said it. Hehehe ok no kidding. You, me, The Vow? Pretty pretty please? If we don't then I'll regret it, my whole life, trust me. Please make my dream come true.

Nowplaying: Give Your Heart A Break - Demitria Devonne Lovato ❤❤❤❤❤

Expressing my thoughts

2012-02-05T14:44:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I feel that I need people to say "wow she's a strong girl. She has been going through hardships her whole life. I bet no one can try being in her shoes". Since no one will, I talk to myself. That is how I cheer myself up. I remind myself to not lose hope and faith, and never stop believing. Because God is always observing from up there, He knows and He sees everything. Even though I might not have anyone now, I know He is there for me. He never fails to listen and lead me to the right path. What I need now is strength. Oh God, bring me to the right path. Show me what is bad for me and give me a chance to prove people wrong.

Not my day

2012-02-05T12:38:00.003+08:00

I can't believe I am crying right now. Only God knows how I feel. Ya Allah, give me the strength to carry on.

Day 65

2012-02-03T21:46:00.004+08:00

Hello it is 9:50PM now and I am feeling so sick :( I bet he is too because he has a sore throat too. Well, please take care of yourself wherever you are love. Don't work and tire yourself out too much. Okay?

So today's dance practice was super intensive even though it was normal practice. Ms. Kate has gone mad :/ after dance chilled with friends at the playground just beside 7Eleven. And there we were, beside each other. So close. Those minutes only felt like short moments. Our funny and lame conversations never get old. Our laughter, smiles together. I miss them already. You leaned on me. I was so happy then but did not react because I felt too comfortably happy. I want those again. Do you?

Are you giving me hints that you like me too? Are you telling me that you want us to go to the same course together in Polytechnic? I like you so much. But I know for a fact that I won't want to have a relationship before o levels.

I have been dreaming a lot about you. It can either mean that I miss you so much or you miss me. I clearly know that the first is true. I hope the second one is true too. When are you going to ask me out again?

Dear God, open up his heart and show the correct path. Amin.

Goobye January, hello February

2012-02-01T17:56:00.004+08:00

Today marks the 1st of February. January passed just like that. It's no longer "time flies when you're having fun". It's now all 'do or die'. So much time consumption on academics. 7 subjects to cope with is not an easy task. What more other schools which offer more than 7? Anyways, my DNT journal has not been progressing well due to my super busy schedule. There's dance practice almost everyday and I sometimes wish I don't have a CCA. Everyday my body is aching and right now my stomach muscles are in pain due to yesterday's sit up exercise. But it's okay, I just have to endure it. Like they say, work hard and you'll attain something great in future, if God willing. Now all I want to focus on is DanceWorks'12 and English and Mother Tongue orals and Common Tests which are just around the corner. I hope I can get through this. Insya'Allah. Amin.

Day 63. He has still yet to ask me to study with him. Did he forget? He promised that we both will study together for O levels. Everyday after school. I hope he asks me about it. Everyday I see him in school. We give each other the 'it has been so long' face. Do you miss me? Because I do. Everyday I see him smiling. The cheery him, beautiful. Despite the bitterness in his heart, he still smiles and sometimes make people smile when they're down, even when he is sad himself. He's such a strong MAN. He's not a boy. For he can take responsibility for his actions. He's brave. Kind. Honest. Funny. But.... Lazy and childish :P

Time check, 1818hours. Only slept for a couple of hours. So Imma take a shower and perform Asar prayers!

Toodles ♡

The stakes are high, the waters rough but this love is ours

2012-01-30T17:42:00.003+08:00

My miracle happened. He texted me that Saturday. ☺And that moment, was perfectly perfect.

Today is Day 60, it is going on pretty well. Ms. Toh changed some of our seats. Sitting beside Catherine now, she's nice. Overall, today, like any other days. Tiresome and boring. In addition, tiring. But what sums up does not matter, as long as he still exist in my world. Thank You Allah for bringing him to my life. ❤

So Imma proceed to my DNT journal now, toodles!

hugs and kissies ❤

You want to know what's special? Go back and read the first word.

2012-01-27T23:56:00.006+08:00

"Stay keen on your deen. Keep it routine. Believe in the unseen. Stay away from the obscene & unclean. Your heart will be serene." - Islam

Clock just struck twelve and it marks the 59th day. It's a Saturday. And I hope for a miracle to happen. Like maybe a text message from you? Okay not maybe, but really really like get a text from you. Every single time my phone notifies me, I have that hope that it's from you. But time never fails to disappoint me. Why is it that guys can expect less and get more, but as for girls it is the total opposite? I'm tired of hoping so much. But what can I do? I can't help it.

So school turned out to be awesome, beyond of what I expected at first. I dragged myself to school and first thing in my mind at the thought of school was disaster, nightmare. My brain feels like it's malfunctioning, it's like slow death. Thank God for blessing me with awesome classmates. They lifted up my spirits and made me feel much more better, in a way. The best part of today was, when I took a short glance at him, it was like he knew I was going to look at him. He looked at me. Eye contact. He smiled. It tickled me in the stomach. I didn't know why I couldn't stop laughing. Laughing in a sense that it was aadorable okay. Should. Have. Smiled. Back. I just can't describe how happy he makes me feel, just by existing.

Alright, time check 1249hours. Better get to sleep! :/

flying kisses.❤❤

Do you miss me?

2012-01-26T16:56:00.003+08:00

Hallu. Today is the twenty sixth of January. A Thursday. I miss spending Thursdays with you. And nowadays, it's like we barely feel each other's presence. But it's still okay that we still greet each other and smile. That overall makes my day a day to look forward to. A part of me says don't ask you out to study or just eat lunch. And the rest of it really needs your presence, wants to be just near you, by your side.

Happy Birthday, xo!

2012-01-26T16:35:00.007+08:00

Today is this beautiful lady's f15teenth birthday! Happy Birthday Nelly Natasha Sulaiman ❤❤❤❤❤ I hope today really makes her happy and that today will be a day to remember. All the best for your future endeavours and make sure to put in your 100% this year in preparation for O levels! Serious year, Naylehhhhhhhhhhh. Hehehehe. Bleagh, we don't have a picture together. Shucks. Hehehe it's been so long since we met and stuff. I miss those funny moments at my house during Hari Raya. When I farted in front of her. OMG funny memories! :') Enjoy, and remember to smile, be optimistic and happy because..............................

much loves! hope you like my birthday present(s) (:B) to you. ☺

Hi, remember? December Twenty Eight.

2012-01-23T01:45:00.001+08:00

So when will you realise, baby I'm not like the rest

2012-01-23T01:21:00.003+08:00

The world is ours, if we want it. We can take it, if you just take my hand. There's no turning back now, baby try to understand.

Nice guys finish last

2012-01-23T00:53:00.005+08:00

I just scrolled his twitter from the first tweet. so it's obvious she was the one who created the account for him. they must've been really close huh? and he called her 'beautiful'. oh gosh I'm so jealous of her. but why should I? after all the hurts she caused him... she's freakin' lucky to have a guy like him to have loved her before. I mean, he's everything girls want in a girl- good sense of humour, gentleman, polite, has manners. well, nice guys finish last.................. CRICKET CRICKET.

so I just realised how cute/hot/handsome/adorable/funny/cute (I said that already :B) Ryan actually is!❤ asgdhdhfjfkdfhjfjkdklsld.

Give your heart a break

2012-01-21T22:07:00.004+08:00

Now Playing : Hafiz - Untuk Kamu

every girl's wish :')

and it's so frustrating that you're trying to 'avoid' me. or not even replying my texts.

or are you waiting for me to miss you? no sweat, I already do........... so today, spent my day revising and revising. January's coming to an end. how time flies so fast. speaking of coming to an end, that's when I'm gonna get my iPad!! so excited ☺

and I still keep your texts, and reread our conversations. :x Lalala why so emo memo ni? hekkkkkkkk :3

I'm a lightweight

2012-01-21T11:46:00.002+08:00

Konichiwa! Sorry for not being active hek. This week has been............ I don't know where to start :/ hmm update some other time.

First post in 2012!

2012-01-07T23:02:00.005+08:00

"Distance means nothing when someone means so much."

The past 3 days, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, were the most best days and experience in my life. I finally knew the true meaning of life. Why I wake up every single morning, to go to school, study, homework. It all leads to my future. And if I don't start realizing the importance of education now, I probably won't know what I want in life, what my true goals are. So yeah, I finally know what my goals are. I want to thank the school, the teachers who sacrificed their time for us to experience this workshop. Okay I sound like I'm in some kind of speech heh heh. Speaking of speech, Seri and I had enough courage to speak on stage. And for me, that was the best thing I've ever done in my whole entire life. I'm very determined now.

This week has been very stressful for me. ☹ I hope this maintains because I don't want it to get worse. Busy day, busy month, busy year. Busy busy busy. We're like buzzing beez hehehe. Too much plans and activities in stored for us. And you boy, I know you'll get really really stressed when it comes to tonnes of work. Please don't forget me.

Now playing: We The Kings - Check Yes Juliet
Feelings: HAPPY ☺

Saranghae chagiya ^~^

2011-12-31T13:45:00.005+08:00

Annyeong! so yesterday I eventually met up with him. So the long wait was actually worth it. The littlest things we did, was the ones that mattered. I don't mind us only spending minutes walking to the train station. And.......... officially he was the last special person I spent with in 2011 ☺

Doubts and second thoughts

2011-12-30T02:49:00.006+08:00

Who do you like boy? Tell me, please.

Annyeong!

2011-12-25T01:44:00.002+08:00

I've been very satisfied with this week's activities. Filled with k-pop, more k-pop and a whole lot more k-pop. I feel extremely happy and worry free when I watch my favorite 6 boys. All I want is, to watch them live and be a HOTTEST forever.♥

moving on. it's been days since I last saw him and it makes me crazy every time I think of him. I know I shouldn't be, but I can't help it. yesterday, I bought him a customized key chain costing me 16.30$. It was worth it though, but I can't help feeling scared to give it to him.

Short update

2011-12-20T04:28:00.002+08:00

This is probably the sweetest scene ever :'''''''''''(

December's going well

2011-12-15T13:21:00.007+08:00

So last week went well! Ate seafood at Newton, five stars. Especially the black pepper crab. A million thanks to my sister for purchasing me a new G-Shock watch too. Went to Johore Baharu, Malaysia too last week. Bought new heels and shoes.

I officially love Thursday. We spent all the Thursdays together from the beginning of the month. It's weird how you can easily charm me. I miss you.

Who said perfect didn't exist?

2011-12-13T01:04:00.000+08:00

:')

2011-12-13T01:00:00.002+08:00

JunYoung!

2011-12-13T00:36:00.003+08:00

hi the one on the left is my scandal. and the one on the right- the guy with the perfect teeth is my boyfriend........... ok kidding!

Jang Wooyoung!

2011-12-13T00:28:00.001+08:00

hi it's him again! omg I am so insanely in love with you! source

my bias!!

2011-12-13T00:16:00.003+08:00

isn't he the cutest!? source

Hurting yet?

2011-12-09T16:34:00.005+08:00

No. I don't wish to have you back. I'm happy now, without your existence. You don't mean anything anymore. You won't impact me as much nor will you be remembered by me. All I want is to have nothing to do with you. I just want us to be complete strangers. Because, you are not worth it. And never will be.

That's why I prefer to be alone

2011-12-07T01:28:00.002+08:00

I prefer bottling up all my problems to myself. I feel like I am such a burden to my friends if I share them my problems. Everybody has their own problems and life to live. Sometimes it's okay. Sometimes I feel so lonely. And when I try to rant everything on twitter or what not, the tendency of people judging will be inevitable.

I don't know how to feel

2011-12-07T01:17:00.001+08:00

"You shot the bullet, you shot the bullet that killed me.

Not feeling my heart beat, and now I was dying.

I I've been through it, I I've been through the agony.

And now my eyes I'm trying, trying, no more crying,

Lying's just a game,

To stand up straight and I'm all right cuz my loves on his way.

Burning for forever and always."

Explains it all

2011-12-06T02:33:00.002+08:00

A bitter day, it will all get erased like this. It will all be forgotten someday. I might smile when the time comes. But I guess I can’t help it right now.

Even though the weather is great, my mood is not. I think you’re teasing me, and I get mad. I struggle because of these situations I can’t handle. The exact opposite of me, the world continues spinning as if nothing happened. You were living just fine. It’s not fair, this is unfair. People who look at me while passing by pity me. Nothing goes right. I missed the place where I was supposed to get off at this morning. Because I suddenly thought of you, I got off at a lonesome station. Because it seemed lonely today of all days, tears just kept falling. I walked for a long time like that. I miss you, who I've been only hating, yet again. Because the days when I was weak with no strength to hold onto you were so pathetic.

A bitter day, it will all get erased like this. It will all be forgotten someday. I might smile when the time comes. But I guess I can’t help it right now. I can’t do anything. Even though I’m sad because I’m thinking of you again right now. Even though it will be difficult, I’ll keep trying to erase you.

No matter what I say, it will sound like an excuse. Even if I say that all of this was for you. Because you were too good for me. Because I was uncomfortable as if I were wearing clothes that didn’t match me. You’re beautiful, but you withered away from me. How do you think I felt while looking at that? We should have just never started

I shouldn’t have looked into your eyes that first time. I thought I would be carefree once I let you go, but that wasn’t the case. My mind understands that we’ve separated
But my heart doesn’t want to accept it. Missing you and trying to erase you, it repeats every day
I’ll be the one to take all the pain. I’d like it if you were just happy. So that the choice I make now doesn’t go to waste. So that I don’t regret it. I’ll always pray for you

I’ll keep trying to erase you. It’ll be forgotten little by little. When time passes, I’ll be able to smile and reminisce. Instead of that common saying that time heals everything. Tell me something that actually works. You can receive so much more love than what you got from me. You’re as beautiful as ever. You said we’d be together forever. In the end, we’re the same as others

A bitter day, it will all get erased like this. It will all be forgotten someday. That day will come

October 27, 2011

2011-10-27T11:03:00.000+08:00

Being faithful, optimistic & honest, brings happiness in all circumstances.

The best

2011-10-18T23:03:00.003+08:00

That should be me.

Live your life

2011-10-15T15:04:00.002+08:00